Moses Came OUT Late in Life

I've pondered many times the similarities in my life to Moses. He was raised Egyptian, raised to be the leader of a people, only to find out that he was actually the descendent of the most despised people of his nation: He was a Jew.

What did he do? He came to terms with who he was and joined his people. He experienced anger at the oppression he saw for the first time, and he resorted to violence. He was cast out of his country, had to pull himself together, and went back to face his destiny.

So, what do we have in common? Moses embraced who he was and did not try to hide it. As an Egyptian prince, he was not raised to hide anything. He was it, the center of attention and respect. There was nothing about him that said he SHOULD hide anything. After he came OUT as a Jew, that didn't change. He embraced who he was.

I spent the first 40 years of my life as a heterosexual. I was not a closet heterosexual, was not expected to hide anything. I was in the "in" crowd, so to speak - as uncomfortable as it was. Now that I have finally come to terms with who I am as a bisexual woman, I am the same. I have never had any reason to hide my sexual orientation, so why should I start now. I embrace who I am, and have no intentions of going into a closet that I am completely unfamiliar with just because others are wanting to ignore the rainbow elephant in the room.

And I guess I am a bit of a rainbow elephant. I missed all the normal flirting and dating and intro relationships because I was a fish out of water. I was unaware of men who were interested, only dated people I knew well, hated being hit on, and eventually married people I considered my best friends.

Now that I know why I wasn't behaving "normally," I am trying to catch up on all those years I missed as a teen and twenty-something doing those things that teens and twenty-somethings do "normally": flirt and date and have intro relationships to the "real thing".

So please, if you meet me, or someone like me, please try to remember: Moses came out late in life and didn't actually take hold of his destiny until he was 80. I'm a forty-something trying to embrace mine. I'm not going in the closet to make you or anyone else happy. And if you happen to be the female I am flirting with, please take it in stride - whether or not you are straight or gay or bisexual - you are getting well deserved attention, and I am making up for lost time. Men hitting on women has been the norm on our society. It happens all the time everywhere (I) go. Women hitting on women is only odd because it is not the current norm except in closet circles.

I mean no harm, have a sense of humor, and simply want to enjoy life as I was created. I love women, think they are incredible, and want to let as many as possible know how much they are appreciated and respected. So please, if I flirt with you, know that you have made my day.

This Far By Grace

Episcopal Bishop J. Neil Alexander wrote This Far By Grace, A Bishop's Journey Through Questions About Homosexuality.

It is an excellent easy read, and very insightful to at least one persons journey - personally and through scripture - to come to terms with homosexuality in society and especially in the church.

I am forever grateful to The Episcopal Church for their stance on inclusion for ALL people regardless of gender, race, and especially sexual orientation and choice of partner. Because of this, I can operate openly in ministry, no secrets, nothing to hide, and minister the gospel to others by the love of Christ.

We are looking at this book to do a study group for Adult Education at St. Teresa's, or possibly a Sunday School Group for those who are interested.

If you are interested in being a part of a study group on this book anywhere, let me know.

Reactions to CFA

We've been working on dialogue for several years now. Nothing like this week to demonstrate how badly we need to continue working on that dialogue. Lots of misinformed people eating and not eating chicken sandwiches.

Stereotypes are developed from prejudice and lack of exposure to that thing or person one has an aversion to. Prejudice and discrimination can be eliminated through exposure and contact with those things in a way that demonstrates the stereotype was false or misleading. (http://www.usu.edu/psy3510/prejudice.html)

That being said, Christians just enhanced their stereotype this week as prejudiced and non caring, and the LGBTQ community did the same with the KISS-INS showing erratic public behavior lacking discretion. Most people don't condone PDA because it can be offensive for Gay and Straight alike. "Get a room" ...

So we have ruffled feathers on both sides, and PRIDE on both sides. It's time to reflect on our behavior and check ourselves regards what is going to bring our differences to a miniscule point. One man's actions caused a series of erratic REACTIONS. Self control, please.

Christians, please try to remember that Jesus Christ made friends with everyone - EXCEPT the self righteous Pharisees and Sadducees. To be a friend of Jesus means you are NOT self righteous and terrorizing. LGBTQ who love Christ, you are a miracle few recognize or understand.

During the time of Christ, the Romans were in control. Jesus did not try to use his influence to change the government or vote in a ruler that saw things his way. He ran when they wanted to make HIM king. The power of the Holy Spirit is what changes lives. He never met Herod, and He was humble before Pilate.

Marriage was a purely religious institution. State marriages were created to keep track of property and inheritance. Please don't confuse the two. Know your history. What you think you are fighting for is a man made creation - legal marriage has a history unrelated to religious marriage as we think of it today. Marriage licenses in the U.S. were actually created to prevent or keep track of interracial marriages, which were illegal until the 1960's and 70's.

We have come a long way. In order to truly be a nation that loves Christ and exemplifies HIS values, we need to walk as HE walked - without judgment, prejudice, and condemnation. "I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." Ask yourself, did your thoughts or actions this week in relation to CFA mirror the life of Christ? not your preacher, your mama, or daddy, or somebody else. But did your actions mirror the life of Jesus Christ?

Only when we get to a place in our lives where we know the life of Christ, know Him, and choose to be like Him, will we be able to really see the power of the Kingdom of God on earth. The kingdom is within you. That is what Christ taught. Did you show His kingdom this week? or yours ...

Launching Gay Straight Talk, Inc.

This is an exciting time in our country. The LGBTQ community has made great progress towards marriage equality, and we continue to make foot prints.

We are finally launching Gay Straight Talk, Inc. on FaceBook and the Web. Our first endeavor is a study group on Bishop Neil Alexander's book This Far By Grace hosted at St. Teresa's Episcopal Church. Bishop Alexander writes about his journey with the subject of homosexuality in The Episcopal Church - where he has come from and where he is now. It's a great read especially for those looking for an inclusive church family.

I will keep you posted on the study group and the changes taking place in the Episcopal Church. God Bless.

Political Life

Here is a question: How would politics change if the church took a stand and started blessing same sex marriages? What would/could the conservative right do then? How would politics change? Tell me what you think and how you feel about this possibility - because it is a near reality.

A Gay Blog

The original idea for Gay Straight Talk came about with a friend of mine I met through my oldest son. My son worked at Nikimotos in Atlanta - sadly no longer open - and every Monday night they had Dragimaki. It became a favorite place for fun nights out, birthday celebrations, etc... My son was the favorite straight boy, and I made friends with the Queens.

We talked about the issues of coming out and being accepted, especially because I had recently come out and was looking for a new scene - where I could be around people like me. It was a comfort zone, and the only regular place to find it - for me at the time -was Nikimotos.

We started video taping for a series called "Gay Straight Talk" and interviewed people on LGBT issues on the set at Nikimotos. Everyone has an opinion, and no one can make it more hilarious than my good friend Diamond Monroe. We  had fun and were getting ready for production and airing when my truck was broken into and my equipment stolen - 2 lap tops, my brief case and the back up. So, the scripts and planning were pretty much gone. We would have had to start almost over.

Three things occurred to me during that weekend: 1) God always has a plan, 2) there was more that I wanted to say about God's relationship to the LGBT peoples, but mostly, 3) I was missing the ladies.

Unfortunately, all my friends were gay guys, and no offense intended, but I'm not into men. We have fun, but we are still very different. I needed to meet women and socialize more. Having only recently come out, I did not have a group of female friends that I could hang out with, or talk to about issues - both personal and political- or have part of the planning and production of GST. It was a huge gap.

As a result, I made the decision to set everything aside until I could fill in the missing pieces.

As usual, God answers prayer. I started working in the fall of 2009 in a place where probably 1/4 to 1/3 of the working population is gay - male and female, LGBT all the way. It is a unique environment. As I started taking a look around, I  began to notice the subtle differences in the women who were out and comfortable with themselves - how they dressed, how they carried themselves, how they interacted with each other. Honestly, I learned a lot.

It is one thing to grow up surrounded by straight people where that is the norm, and completely different to grow up in a mixed community of gay and straight where that is the norm. Coming out is huge when you feel like you are the only one like you - it is much different if you come out in an environment where you are the norm. There is so much freedom in being oneself.

One of the biggest things I have realized about myself is that I could never reach my full potential without being completely me. Being completely me means acknowledging who I am as a gay/bi-sexual woman. (I add them together because although I am very into women, every now and then there is that guy that makes my chemistry twinge. Sorry my favorite lesbian friends. I didn't make me.) Having come out and allowed myself to be me, feel me, think me, I have a second leash on life and am working towards and completing life long goals that have been burden on my brain. They have been a burden because no matter how hard I tried, I could not pull myself together to complete them. Now it is easy; its all me.

Therefore the Blog. This was a place created to talk about the issues - but, again, I was missing the ladies. Now that I know more of you, I can write and relate to you better. And so I shall:)

Coming Out and Being Me

Coming out later in life is a challenge to say the least. Jesus, I have kids who are grown and trying to figure out what the hell I am doing. Just going about my business and being me - for the first time. Well, kinda. I have always been "ballsy," as my mother would say, strong willed, and independent. But, this is different.

These days I acknowledge my preference - for women - without burying my attraction, ignoring it, or forcing it into my subconscious. Wow. This is living perfectly - which incidentally means living "wholly." Perfect - whole - complete.

I have had the privilege of living both as a heterosexual and homosexual - because I am bisexual. I have lived most of my life as a heterosexual, so I have heard all the comments, views, religious perspectives, politics, etc ... from this view. As a heterosexual, I didn't necessarily agree.

I didn't and don't agree that being Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender is a "CHOICE," or a demonic spirit, or a sickness. I have always had friends of all sexual preferences and gender orientations, and had a special compassion for kids trying to deal with this in school. They know who they are at a very young age - for the most part - and try desperately to live in an unforgiving, uneducated, superstitious society.

It is better for this young generation because there has been more political exposure and media acceptance of the LGBT community. Religious institutions have been slow to catch on, and the conservative Christian right is still living in the stone ages. I am Episcopalian - an educated Christian who loves Christ more than anyone on the planet - guaranteed:)

Social media has opened the door for conversations and communication and given all people an opportunity to express themselves. This is a very lucky generation. There is so much open internet space, I have a hard time believing closets still exist. Where at one time not that long ago (just prior to 1993 - the dawn of the internet) you only knew about people and their "idiosyncrasies" if they lived near you or in your home town. Through social media we know now that LGBT people are everywhere all over the globe, and mostly in our hometowns. WE ARE OUT!!! :D (insert big cheesy grin) and it feels so good to be out.

Finally, I can reach my full potential because I am not forcing me down. If you force part of you down, you force all of you down. Only by being yourself, or me being myself, will you or I live fully. You can't live to please anyone because there will always be somebody you can't please. So be your self, and let the perfect creation God created in you fulfill its complete potential.